i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
