So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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