you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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