We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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