My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize