My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
