Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
