I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
