Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.