Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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  (608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0
  Replies (18) Good night (1208) Bad night (2550)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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  (856): a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell http://tfl.nu/7uki
  Replies (9) Good night (1394) Bad night (2171)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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  (772): Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/26ja
  Replies (4) Good night (2911) Bad night (655)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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  (651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg
  Replies (19) Good night (3993) Bad night (1261)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  only on the fourth of july.

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  (813): right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july. http://tfl.nu/s13z
  Replies (20) Good night (7958) Bad night (1176)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1281) Bad night (4316)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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  (808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw
  Replies (27) Good night (1580) Bad night (3243)
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  (845): View more from New York

  the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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  (845): the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later http://tfl.nu/1207
  Replies (4) Good night (3573) Bad night (1336)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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  (816): As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall... http://tfl.nu/n3n5
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (766)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Naked Twister starts at high noon

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  (913): Naked Twister starts at high noon http://tfl.nu/ka5x
  Replies (16) Good night (2164) Bad night (615)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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  (603): FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/9ddg
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (1094)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever

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  (619): I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever http://tfl.nu/mt31
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (305)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.

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  (703): Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life. http://tfl.nu/38t1
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (407)
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  (914): View more from New York

  hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous

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  (914): hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous http://tfl.nu/zdir
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (264)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.

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  (914): You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow? (216): We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans. http://tfl.nu/x8ub
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (270)

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