tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.