can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...