So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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