are you so shy because you have an std?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
