Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is wine microwaveable?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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