I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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