Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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