If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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