Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
