I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
