Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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