He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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