how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize