I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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