There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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