Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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