he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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