I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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