I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
