If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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