Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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