It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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