Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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