And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
