TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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