i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
