OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found the puke drawer
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
