The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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