You really coming over, don't trick.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
