He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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