btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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