I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
