life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
