Whoa Z and x make the same sound
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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