I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
At least make sure they are 18
Why
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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