It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
