at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
