my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
