In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
