you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I see more hoeing in ur future
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