I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
