No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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