To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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