I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
