I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
