Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
