Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
where am i from again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
