Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So squirting runs in the family.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
