dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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