At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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