dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize