Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
