It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
