It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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