My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
