Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
