My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize