Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize