My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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