She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
